sayingsList= [
"<p>Well that just dills my pickle!</p>",
"<p>Thats about as useful as a trap door on a canoe!</p>",
"<p>You look about as happy as a tick on a fat dog.</p>",
"<p>I'm finer than frog hair split four ways.</p>",
"<p>If you don't stop I'll knock you in the head and tell God you died.</p>",
"<p>He couldn't carry a tune in a bucket.></p>",
"<p>He's busier than a one-legged man at a butt kickin contest!</p>",
"<p>She was so tall if she fell down she would be halfway home.</p>",
"<p>He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow.</p>",
"<p>Don't you piss on my leg and tell me it's rainin'!</p>",
"<p>He was as mad as a mule chewing on bumblebees!</p>",
"<p>You're lyin' like a no-legged dog!</p>",
"<p>Excuses are like backsides. Everybody's got one and they all stink.</p>",
"<p>That was faster than green grass through a goose.</p>",
"<p>She could make a preacher cuss!</p>",
"<p>Hell, she could even depress the devil.</p>",
"<p>You could start an argument in an empty house.</p>",
"<p>That coffee's strong enough to float an iron wedge.</p>",
"<p>You look as happy as a dead pig in the sunshine.</p>",
"<p>He'd gripe with a ham under each arm.</p>",
"<p>Why are you smilin' like a goat in a briarpatch?</p>",
"<p>Our preacher's as full of wind as a corn-eating horse.</p>",
"<p>Each one of his sermons is better than the next!</p>",
"<p>He's so windy he could blow up an onion sack.</p>",
"<p>He's so useless if he had a third hand he would need another pocket to put it in!</p>",
"<p>She needs some fries to go with that shake.</p>",
"<p>That boy's more slippery than snot on a glass doorknob.</p>",
"<p>Why don't you just take a long walk off a short pier.</p>",
"<p>They're off like a herd of turtles.</p>",
"<p>She's resting in peace in the marble orchard.</p>",
"<p>Well, don't you look prettier than a glob of butter melting on a stack of wheat cakes!</p>",
"<p>He's about as handy as a back pocket on a shirt.</p>",
"<p>She's so clumsy she could trip over a cordless phone!<br>",
"<p>He's about as useful as a pogo stick in quicksand.</p>",
"<p>If brains were leather, he wouldn't have enough to saddle a junebug.</p>",
"<p>Well, if that don't put pepper in the gumbo!</p>",
"<p>Well, slap my head and call me silly!</p>",
"<p>Well tie me to a pig and role me in the mud!</p>",
"<p>Well tie me to an anthill and fill my ears with jam!</p>",
"<p>He's not particularly intelligent:</p>",
"<p>The engine's runnin' but nobody's driving.</p>",
"<p>If his brains were dynamite, he couldn't blow his nose</p>",
"<p>He's so dumb, he could throw himself on the ground and miss.</p>",
"<p>He's so dumb he couldn't piss his name in the snow.</p>",
"<p>He's a little strange!</p>",
"<p>That boy's two bricks shy of a full load.</p>",
"<p>I think that boy's about two sandwiches shy of a picnic.</p>",
"<p>I think he's one fry short of a Happy Meal.</p>",
"<p>He's acting crazier than a sprayed roach!</p>",
"<p>He's so rich, he buys a new boat each time one gets wet.</p>",
"<p>You've got champagne taste with a beer pocketbook.</p>",
"<p>He's tighter than a flea's ass over a rain barrel.</p>",
"<p>He squeezes a quarter so tight the eagle screams.</p>",
"<p>He doesn't have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out.</p>",
"<p>It's drier than happy hour at the Betty Ford clinic!</p>",
"<p>It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a pool table!</p>",
"<p>It's so dry the trees are bribing the dogs.</p>",
"<p>It's hotter than two rabbits making babies in a sock!</p>",
"<p>He's not particularly handsome!</p>",
"<p>He's uglier than the east end of a horse headed west</p>",
"<p>He looks like something the dog's been keepin' him under the porch.</p>",
"<p>He is so ugly that my mother had to tie pork chops to his ears so the dog would play with him.</p>",
"<p>She's so ugly I'd hire her to haunt a house!</p>",
"<p>If I had a dog as ugly as him, I'd shave his butt and make him walk backwards.</p>",]
